We started pretty well, after a rough birth, my colostrum was expressed the first night then I managed to get a latch about an hour before I was discharged from the hospital the next day. This was after trying to get him to latch every single time I heard a noise from him. By the day 5 midwife visit, all was going eerily well. A surprise given that my antenatal breastfeeding class had been cancelled due to covid.
But then the pain started. I thought this pain was to be expected, I thought I just had to tough it out. By day 10 I realised it was something else. I couldn't feed anymore, the pain was too much. I reached out for help. To the midwife, to the health visitor, to the Breastfeeding Support in Barnet group. I was advised to pump to keep up my supply and bottle feed the pumped milk. Aside from about a bottle a day of formula, I was pumping enough, mainly because I was pumping every 2 hours around the clock. With a manual pump. Cue more pain... Then I was advised to get an electric pump, hospital grade, so I got one on rent from Medela. Cue more pain... The flange size was wrong. After about 2 weeks of trying to establish a pain free pumping routine I did. Greys Anatomy got me through the 3am pump alarm, but the worst thing in the world was hearing my son call out, knowing he needed me, but being stuck to the pump. Then there were all the blocked ducts, every time I got chills and felt ill. I just knew I had to try and avoid mastitis so I'd use hot compresses and massage to try and pump through the pain. Funnily enough, it was the breast shells that got air to my cracked nipples that were causing more blockages. After 6 weeks of pumping, we finally had tongue tie identified by a health visitor on a video call. We had to find a tongue tie clinic that was open during the pandemic, I even had to track down the right referral form for the health visitor to use. Once the tongue tie was reversed, we finally had another go at breastfeeding. There was still pain, but I realised that this was the bearable pain that was the two of us finding out how to do this properly. Sok is now 15 weeks old. He hasn't had any formula or a bottle in 7 weeks. He now exclusively breastfeeds, giving him the best possible start in life and giving us an unparalleled bonding experience. I don't have 2 hourly alarms set to pump, I'm not spending time washing and steralising instead of being with my son. I can leave the house knowing if he's hungry, I can feed him. I'm so so glad that I persisted. I'm so grateful for all the support I've received from my family, my friends and from La Leche League who I came to quite late in the process but whole have been incredibly encouraging and kind. Seeing Sok smile after a good feed is one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I am in awe of all breastfeeding mothers, especially those who battle through the hard times. We got this! #WBW2020 #BreastfeedinginLockdown #RealBreastfeedingStories
1 Comment
Sorrel
8/1/2023 10:14:18 pm
Reading this back 3 years later it's amazing to see how far we've come. My second baby experience of birth and breastfeeding has been so much smoother and I know it's because of all we went through the first time. Plus, of course, the endless support from La Leche League, without which I'd never be where I am today (unexpectedly tandem feeding!)
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AuthorThe mothers of La Leche League Barnet. These Blog posts were inspired by a discussion during our Zoom meeting in August 2020, during World Breastfeeding Week. We talked about influences on our breastfeeding journeys: our initial imagination of the process and how reality shaped us, and was shaped by us and our circumstances. Please enjoy reading these raw and honest accounts, to give you a more realistic picture of what breastfeeding can look like in REALITY. Share widely if you wish. ArchivesCategories |